Bitter Suite Scoobies
by DeathLea
Summary: Anya and Xander make amends in the Land of Illusia. Based on Xena's musical episode The Bitter Suite. COMPLETE
1. The Fall

A/N: Starts at the end of S7-"Selfless" when Anya leaves the fraternity house.  
  
Chapter One: The Fall  
  
Xander tried to catch up with Anya outside the fraternity house, but only caught tail lights as she pulled away from the curb. He knew she was grieving over Halfrek. In a way he felt guilty; she only became a demon again after he had left her. Losing her powers again probably wasn't helping to make the situation any better. She was no longer part of D'Hoffryn's "family" and she had no one to turn to, or to talk to. She had been crying more than he had ever seen her cry. He wondered how she was even still standing let alone running out of the house as fast as she did. She had been expecting to die, she had asked for it, but D'Hoffryn had taken away her best friend instead. What would she be thinking ? What if she was going to hurt herself? He rushed to his car to try and follow her. He couldn't leave her alone right now without knowing she'd be all right.  
  
Anya wasn't sure where she was going; she just had to get far away from that house as fast as possible. Away from Xander; away from Buffy, and away from the guilt of being responsible for Halfrek's death. Her only friend was gone, and she had once again been sentenced to a mortal life. She was ashamed of herself. She couldn't do vengeance anymore. It had been so easy before, but now it just made her sick- and that realization made her angry. Being with Xander had brainwashed her. He was always telling her what was wrong or inappropriate for her to say or do, and somewhere along the way, she started to believe him.   
  
"I believed him!" She yelled. She jerked the wheel and pulled off the deserted road to stop in a nearby clearing. "Who is he to tell me that I'm wrong?! Maybe he's wrong, did he ever think of that? Hallie would still be alive if I hadn't been clinging to his every word all this time. I'm so stupid!" She started sobbing with grief and fury. She stumbled out of the car, not being able to stand the confinment of the small space. Looking around, she saw she was at a cliff overlooking the ocean. She sunk to the ground against the car and tried to will herself to stop crying.   
  
She was just starting to calm down some when Xander pulled up beside her and got out of his car. She turned to him angrily. "Xander, just go away!" she yelled before standing and walking away towards the cliff's edge.  
  
"Anya, wait." He started following her. "Whatever's between us-it doesn't matter. You shouldn't be alone in this."  
  
Anya kept her back to him. She would not let him get to her again, to tell her what she should do. "You are the last person I want to be with right now. My whole life, I've just clung to whatever came along..."  
  
"Well, speaking as a clingee- I kinda didn't mind." He walked around to stand in front of her, his lips in a half smile and apologelic look in his eyes.  
  
"Don't do that! Stop making these little jokes like we're friends just having polite conversation. We're not!"  
  
Xander nods "Okay so we're not, but maybe we can be. If you just-"  
  
"No! I trusted you; and you made me believe that I could be happy with you. Before you, everything was clear: Vengeance is my job, my life, it's what I am."   
  
"Vengeance is not what you are, Anya."  
  
"No, it's not. Because of you and Buffy and the rest of your little do-gooder group. And now I'm back to being just another weak, fragile mortal. I'm nothing; I'm nobody. I should've left those frat boys to rot!"  
  
Xander steps toward Anya "You don't mean that. You're not a demon anymore, and you're just upset over Hallie." He reaches a hand out towards her. She jerks away before he can touch her. He was trying to pull her back in, and she wasn't about to let that happen. She would not be weak. He was the reason for her suffering. He was the one who made her have doubts about her job, about what she was. He did this to her. She couldn't let him get away with that.  
  
"And it's your fault! It's all you; Hallie's dead because of you. You poisoned my mind with all this humanity, and good will toward men. I eviscerate men!"  
  
"Anya-"  
  
Anya screams "Vengeance!" She rushes at Xander knocking him to the ground at the edge of the cliff. "I hate you!"  
  
Xander pushes Anya off of him, she loses her balance and starts to fall back of the cliff. She takes hold of Xander's sleeve, making them both tumble down into the water below. The force of hitting the water knocks them out and they start to float out into the ocean.  
  
Unconcious, they drift in the water. The sea turns to a stream and through their dreams, they faintly hear a voice speaking in ryhme. "Absorb thyself in this great sea of the waters of life. Dive deep in it until thou hast lost thyself. And having lost thyself, then thou shalt find thyself again. Even as it is written, 'She had her dwelling in the great sea and was a fish therein.'"  
  
A/N: Okay, okay, you caught me. This is my first atempt at fanfiction. Sooo; it'd be nice to have some input as to whether I should continue or go board myself up in the basement in shame (never to touch a computer again) and await my death. 


	2. Anya Wakes

Chapter Two: Anya Wakes  
  
A pair of hands pull Anya from the water. She hears someone speaking as she regains conciousness. "Aleph am I. From mine unfathomable will, the universe hath its beginning. In my boundless wisdom are the types and patterns of all things." She opens her eyes to see Willow crouched above her head staring down at her. "Willow?" Anya stands to face her. Willow stands and watches her with a smile. Anya looks to her surroundings confused. The room is strange, stone floors, large collumns that going so far up she can't see their end, only darkness. A large wheel suspends in the air at the center of the room, with arcane symbols on it and animals surrounding it. A lion and bull lie below the wheel. A snake hangs on one side and the Egyptian god Anubis on the other. A Sphinx sits atop of the structure with an eagle above his shoulder. "Willow? What...?" She looks to Willow, who is dressed as a fool. Willow continues to grin and starts to sing.  
  
"Glad that you're fellin' strong,  
Thought I might lose ya.  
Don't use words, sing a song,   
This is Illusia!"  
  
Anya stares at Willow in confusion, "This is what? Where am I? And I know you don't have a very good fashion sense, but don't you think the court jester look is taking it a bit far." Willow starts walking and dancing around Anya, while begining a new song.  
  
"Anya be warned, Anya beware  
By closing your eyes you can see what isn't there  
Anya be calm, open your eyes  
Lies may be truth and truth may be lies"  
  
Anya, starting to get agitated by the situation, stops Willow. "All right, Willow, cut the song and dance. What's going on? Where are we?" Willow takes Anya by the arm and walks her toward the large wheel singing.  
  
"Fate is a wheel, it will reveal  
All you've become, all that your feel.  
Destiny knows what has to be.  
You'll pay the price, nothing is free.  
I'll be your guide, take the hand of your muse,  
You just might lose your way in the Land of Illusia.  
Illusia is music, a world built on rhyme.  
It's carved out of space in the absence of time.  
You've tasted how evil and good coexist,   
The bitter and sweet of it..."

(A little white dog peeks his head out from behind a column and joins in the song.)  
"All in the lips that you kissed." 

(Willow draws Anya's attention back to the wheel.)  
"Lion and bull, eagle and snake.  
To live or die,  
It's a choice you've got to make.  
Can you undo what you create?  
Step through the wheel...  
Follow your fate."  
  
(All the animals join in for the chorus.)  
"The fates have a fix on you,  
We can play tricks on you.  
We deal the truths you're too troubled to face.  
Gamble the worth of you, on the rebirth of you.  
Don't turn away, don't start to fade.  
What's still unwritten...  
You can erase."  
  
(Willow takes over again.)  
"You villainous infamy tortures your soul.  
Decent into evil must levy it's toll.  
The darkness that rots you has brought you to this."  
  
(The snake turns to Anya.)  
"Surrender serenity, suffer sweet misery.  
Sin seeks it's cursed abysssss."  
  
(Anubis)  
"Oh Anya, with death there is always rebirth."  
  
(Sphinx)  
"Come see with vision denied you on Earth."  
  
(Willow)  
"Illusia is waiting -we'll show you the way  
But all consequences are your own creation  
And there's a price you must pay"  
  
(All the animals join Willow)  
"The fates have a fix on you,  
We can play tricks on you.  
We deal the truths you're too troubled to face.  
Gamble the worth of you, on the rebirth of you.  
Don't turn away, don't start to fade.  
What's still unwritten...  
You can erase.  
Illusia is music,  
A world built on rhyme.  
It's carved out of space  
In the absence of..."  
  
Anya grabs Willow by the shoulders to make her stop singing. "All right Willow; you like little ditties? Fine, Here's one. You're acting so strangely that I hardly know you, but still I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you." Anya pushes Willow away and she falls to the ground.  
  
"Ow! You're wrong not to trust one that knows you so well. I never betrayed you that was, well..." Willow waves her hand in the air and an image of Xander appears in the air before Anya.   
  
"Xander." She looks to his image with anger before turning to Willow. "Is he here; the one who betrayed me, is he in this land?"  
  
Willow swipes her hand through the image making it disappear. She stands smiling at Anya "I'm mearly your guide dear, along for a grin. You'll get no free ride here. If you want to know more, then spin." Willow stands next to the wheel awaiting Anya's decision.  
  
"Fine." Anya says with a sigh "As long as it gets me away from you and that lispy singing snake."

A/N: In Xena's the Bitter Suite, the symbols of the 22 major arcana of Tarot cards were used throughout the episode. In this chapter, they would be Willow as The Fool and the Wheel of Fortune.


	3. Xander Wakes

Xander, still unconcious, drifts down the calm stream. A soft, numinous voice speaks in rhyme.  
"Changeless, this great deep of elemental water remaineth forever pure. Because of this, it possesseth the quality of stability. From water do all forms have their beginning."  
  
Dawn dangles from a tree branch, by her feet, over the stream. Watching the waters flow, she waits for Xander to pass within her reach. As he floats just beneath her, she streches her arms out to the water and grabs his hands to pull him out. He wakes with a start, after landing behind some bushes.  
  
"Oh god; I'm dead!" He checks himself. "I'm naked! I'm dead, I'm naked, and..." He looks around confused "in the woods?" He stands to get a better view of his surroundings. The forest is completely dark outside the patch he is standing in. Nothing is visible beyond the trees around him. Looking up, he can not see where the light, only on him, is coming from. No sun, no moon; it's just there, hovering about him. His hand brushes against the bush beside him. Curious, he takes hold of one of it's branches and peers at it more closely "Hey, wait. Is this... it's plastic? What kind of cheap spiritual plane uses plastic scenary?" He sighs and lets it drop back in place. "What a gyp. At least it's not cold out here." He hears music around him and someone's humming getting louder from behind him. He turns to see Dawn skipping towards him with a smile. She starts dancing around the trees surrounding him as she sings.  
  
"Dawnster, the Mighty,  
Master of geography.  
Here to guide you on your way.  
Stick with me, you'll never stray.  
And if your in a land that's new,  
I'm the one who'll get you through."  
She looks at him with a wide grin and raised eyebrows.  
"Even (giggles) when you're slightly nude...  
I'm Dawnster, I'm Dawnster the mighty!"  
  
He quickly moves around to the other side of the bush to try and conceal himself. He turns back to where Dawn was standing, and sees that she's gone. Before he has time to think about where she could have gone, he hears her sing in the distance.  
"We're in Illusia..."  
  
"Okay; this definately wasn't in any afterlife brochure I've ever seen. So much for the being dead theory."  
Dawn, popping up beside Xander impassively, "Yeah."  
He turns in surprise and jumps back as they both yell out "Ahhh!"  
"How did you...?" Remembering his nudeness, he quickly pulls a branch off a bush and covers himself with it. "Dawn, go away, can't you see, I'm naked?"  
Dawn rolls her eyes at Xander and pulls some clothes out of the grass for him.  
"Being naked won't excuse ya." She tosses the clothes to him as she walks away.  
"Sing to talk, we're in Illusia." Cheerfully, she goes back to skipping around the trees again and humming to herself as she waits for Xander to finish dressing.   
  
"Yeah; thanks for the clothes Dawnie, but I think I'll pass on the singing thing. That kinda got me into trouble last time. I wasn't allowed to touch anything in the Magic Box for a month; unless it was books for research." She giggles at Xander and holds her hand out to him. "Well, I guess I don't have much choice if I wanna find a way out of here." He takes her hand "Lead the way." She smiles and a narrow path is suddenly clear in front of them. She leads him down through the trees.  
  
As they walk, Xander notices that the further they go, the more the light seems to fade and the trees keep getting more dense. "You know maybe we should just go back to..." He turns around and sees that the path had been swallowed in darkness. "Or not." He looks back around to see that Dawn has disappeared again.   
  
"Oh, great. Thought you were supposed to be my guide Dawn? Hello?" He yelled. He sighs in defeat. Ahead of him is a door at the path's dead end. "Right; gone. So, now my options are A: stay out here in the all encompassing darkness, alone or; B: open the mysterious door that's attached to, oh... nothing." He takes a deep breath as he reaches for the doorknob, bracing himself for whatever waits on the other side. "Okay. Open says me."  
  
Numinous: filled with a sense of the presense of divinity 


	4. War and Peace

A/N: This chap took a bit longer cause I was out of reach of a computer for a while; sorry. So, on with the story and I hope it doesn't suck for you guys.

Anya steps up to the wheel and pulls down one side. It starts to expand as it spins faster and faster appearing to create a whirlpool in mid-air. She looks around at the room, now almost completely shrouded in darkness. A glow, eminating from the swirling mass, being the only source of light for her. She sees that Willow and the animals have gone and she is now alone in this place. Anya turns and shields her eyes as the pool suddenly flashes brightly for a moment. She looks back up to see a glowing portal now in it's place. Feeling she has no other option, she hesitantly steps through.  
The portal closes behind her and she is faced with a large castle towering before her. It stands surrounded by nothing but darkness. Then sounds, coming from inside the main hall, draw her attention. Laughter and more singing; shouts for more drinks; pounding and cracks, which could only be the sounds of a good bar fight. "Those voices! I know them." She takes a step up to the door to listen more closely. "They work for D'Hoffryn." She pushes open the castle door to see the hall filled with demons, all talking and drinking. They stop when they notice her standing at the doorway. "Anyanka!" one of them greets with raised mug. The others start to cheer her name and sing.  
  
"Anya! Anya! Anya! Anya! Anya!  
Praise the winds of chance that blew  
Anya back, where friends are true.   
We would fight to death for you, Anyanka.   
With her beauty and her smarts,   
She makes vengeance into art,   
No one tears them all apart like Anya!   
Famed for malice and accord,   
she's as feared as is adored.   
You've not lived till you've been gored by Anya!"  
Demon One: You lay waste to worlds as no lower being can!   
Demon Two: You've got eyes that can tear out the heart of a man!   
Demon Three: With one look you can wilt a flower!   
Demon Four: Curdle milk an' make men cower!   
All Demons: Welcome home, Anya, Welcome home!   
  
Anya walks further into the room and looks to them confused "Wait. I thought you all hated me. Why the big musical praise, when I'm nothing but a pathetic human now?" D'Hoffryn steps out from behind a group of demons in front of her. He reaches out to her and runs his hand over her hair.  
  
D'Hoffryn: You are the most divine, audacious warrior.  
Demons can't help saluting your return.   
And if you start my heart, It's just the way you slash and burn.  
Bewitching woman, straining at the armour plate.  
You singe me with the ardour you inflame.   
And in my carnal heart, There's not a sorry shred of shame.   
Demons: You and me make war! Doesn't matter what it's for! Pandemonium reigns and we're bludgeoning brains! Give us war, war, war! Keep it down to a roar!   
Demon Five: Words of wisdom are here said...   
D'Hoffryn: When in battle, Keep your head.  
Demons: Harbingers of war, war, war!

Xander walks through the door and stops all of a sudden, as if he had run into a wall. He stares, bewildered at what he's seeing. It's the old high school library, he's sure. He turns around looking at all he can, before noticing the people gathered around the table, in the center, studying. "Uh... You know, I could've sworn we blew this place up." They all look up at him then, with bright smiles.  
  
Angel: Hey, look, it's Xander.  
Cordelia: Xander you're back.   
Scoobies: Alexander! Alexander! Alexander! Over Anya he's been crossed. And he's paid a fearful cost. His once lover has been lost, Alexander. Now the demon's set him free. And he's found his home to be with his old friends, you and me, Alexander.   
Buffy: You've been strung out from all of Anya's faults for so long.   
Cordelia: Now we're grateful you've come back to the place you belong.   
Angel: For all threats, the panacea,   
Giles: Must be in this athenaeum!  
Scoobies: Welcome home, Xander, Welcome home!   
  
Xander looks at Buffy, perplexed "What, Anya? She's here too? She nearly killed me! Where is she?" Buffy stands in front of Xander and looks at him sympathetically.  
  
Buffy: Demons, trolls, and beasts Have made their mark on you, leave their easy evil in the dust. If she'd stayed a mortal, We would make her welcome, too.  
Scoobies: You and me make peace, with our books and prophecies! While the hours away, fetching snacks, saying 'Hey!'. We make peace, peace, peace; mindless chores that never cease.   
Oz: Nothing changes but the time...   
Cordelia and Wesley: We don't even change our mind!   
Scoobies: Crusaders for peace, peace, peace!

(Back in D'Hoffryn's fort with Anya and Demons.)  
D'Hoffryn: Pulverizing foes requires strategy. No immortals born here meet your skill. Anya, join my vision don't deny your destiny!   
Demons: You and me make war! Doesn't matter what it's for!   
Demon Six: Chop the tree down, burn the root!   
D'Hoffryn: Vengeance can be such a hoot.   
Demons: Harbingers of war, war, war!

(Library again.)  
Buffy: Anya was no friend, she'd only twist your mind, And you could not change her deadly ways. Take this scythe... It's just a case of killing for mankind.  
Scoobies: You and me make peace, with our books and prophecies!   
Wesley: Just read and then sit by.   
Giles and Oz: Checking facts until you die.  
Scoobies: Crusaders for peace, peace, peace!

Demons: We love war!   
Scoobies: Peace is such a lovely state, war can kill you so can hate.   
Demons: Fear, Lies!, Smite and smoke and pulverize!  
Scoobies: Hear the slayer, she's always right!   
Demons: Pus and Gore.   
Scoobies: Just you put your hand in mine, Sure your future's on the line!   
Demons: You've a friend you must avenge. Know you must extract revenge!  
Scoobies: Don't be put aside by beauty, Xander you must do your duty.  
Demons: War!  
Scoobies: Peace!   
Demons: War!   
Scoobies: Peace!   
Demons: War!   
Scoobies: Peace!   
Demons: War!   
Scoobies: Peace!   
Demons: War!   
  
Anya draws a sword, from a sheath on one of the demons. She storms toward the door reaches for the handle. Xander grasps his scythe tighter as Buffy motions him to the door. Anya and Xander pull their doors open, simultaneously and all singing stops as they see each other in Illusia for the first time.  
  
Panacea (pan-a-cee-a)- remedy  
Athenaeum (ath-en-ee-um)- library  
  
A/N: No eardrums were harmed in the writing of this chapter -Angel's voice was dubbed. And in case you were wondering; I thought it would be confusing if I had two Willows in the story, so I left her out of the library. I just told her and Dawn they could go play outside during these scenes. I think she was teaching Dawn how to float stuff or someth- OH GOD! MY EYE! MY EYEEYEY!   
Dawn: "Hey, heads up! Flying pencils!"  
Suuure; NOW she tells me. (pulls out pencil imbedded into eye)squishish..pop! No worries; just a flesh wound. 


	5. Death

Anger; fury. They glare at each other, through the doorway, in revulsion. Xander pulls back and steadies his arms, holding his scythe high, ready to attack. 'How could he ever think it possible for her to be anything, but an evil, murderous demon?' Anya grasps her sword tighter and points it in Xander's direction. 'How dare he try and make her turn her back on all that she is!' In a rage, they rush at each other. Xander swings the scythe at Anya, but she side steps and runs him through, mid-chest. The scythe falls from Xander's hands and clatters as it hits the stone floor. Anya steps back and pulls at her sword, a look of shock on her face. Xander looks at her, surprised and confused before collapsing to the ground, dead.  
  
Dawn enters, looking pale as death itself, and steps toward the fallen form. Dressed with worn black and gray robes. She kneels down next to Xander, to examine his body. Taking the candle in her hand, she brings it close to Xander's nose. The flame does not move; there is no breath to the body. She looks up to face Anya and shakes her head solomnly; he's dead. She sets the candle on the ground beside him, then looks away as she stands back up.  
  
Softly, sensual music starts to play in background and D'Hoffryn takes Anya into his arms. He starts to dance with her as he sings.  
  
"You're lost and confused, but I understand.   
This once beloved friend has been slain by your hand.   
You feel all alone, betrayed and adrift  
But maybe this loss can be viewed as a gift.   
Now I'll be your rock, your strength and support.   
Your close confidant with whom you can consort.   
I know you completely come melt into me.   
Unleash the power of your destiny.   
You've proved to yourself, now that you've made the kill,   
That you're just like me, with as evil a will.   
Our forces are meant to be merged into one.   
The world will be panicked when our work is done!   
Let the music of war, with its lustful refrain,   
Arouse us to heights with a passionate strain.   
Imagine how awesome, together we'd be.   
So feel what I'm feeling Come melt into me."  
  
D'Hoffryn dips Anya back, as he sings the last line, near Xander's body. She turns to look at his lifeless form and releases her grip on D'Hoffryn's arms to slide to the ground. He backs away when she reaches out to Xander. She does not notice Willow standing on the other side of Xander, until she sings.  
  
"Did that fill you with glee; To kill your little friend?  
Did that ease your suffering? Or bring it to an end?  
Let go... All of your anger will poison you yet.  
Unless you can just -let go."  
  
She looks up at Willow, the confusion and remorse of not wanting to believe that she was the one to do this, apparent on her face. D'Hoffryn comes to stand next to Willow. He looks to Anya with a satisfied smirk. "Nothing more need be said, but it's about time this fool was dead."  
  
Anya shifts her sight back to Xander's still figure. The room grows dark, save for the candle left by Dawn, as everyone dissapears and she is left alone with the body. She leans over him, tilting his face to her and lightly traces her hand down the side of his face. Tears sting at her eyes, but before they can fall the door swings open again. Light shining from beyond it, shadows the figure standing before the entrance. He steps forward and Anya can see him more clearly that it's Xander. She sits up, slowly, her hands sliding off the form on the ground as she looks up at him in disbelief. The body disappears when Anya's attention focuses solely on Xander standing in the doorway. He looks down at her pained. He can't believe that Anya would really kill him; that she was capable of killing him.  
  
Anya just stares at him stunned that he is standing before her. "I killed you, Xander."  
"Believe me; I noticed." He quips and shakes his head. "God, Anya. I thought you were just trying to hurt me before, but I didn't... I mean, I never thought-"  
Anya stands quickly and stops him "No, no. I didn't, it was -none of this is real, Xander!" She shouts at him, gesturing to their surroundings. "Willow, D'Hoffryn, Dawn." Realization of what had really happened here, hitting them and rekindling both of their anger. "I didn't kill you. I killed an illusion!"  
"If that's supposed to make me feel better..." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a light at the center of the room. "What is that?" He looks up past Anya to see a large wheel that has appeared in the room. Anya turns and sees what has caught his attention.  
"Us. Somehow, it's all about us." She looks back at Xander "Spin it."


	6. Echoing Past

The portal appears, at the center of the wheel in a vast, moonlit hall. Xander and Anya come tumbling out and onto the ground. They stand, and survey their surroundings. No one is here, but them in this long, tall hallway. Everything is smooth, in surface. The moonlight gives an eerie glow to the marble flooring and white stone columns all around them.  
  
Xander, feigning disapointment "Aaww... what no more musical numbers?"  
Anya rolls her eyes at him. "There you go again(againgaingain); making everything(thinginging) into a joke(jokejokeoke). We have no(nonoo) idea(ideaideadea) how to get out(outoutt) of this(thisthisis)..." She stops clutching at her ears as her echoing words overlap and become nearly deafening. Xander covers his ears until the noise starts to dissipate.   
  
"Okay, so no more yelling. What's with this place?"  
"What do you mean; everything here is strange."  
"Yeah, but I mean, most of time this Illusia place has been bright and cheery. With all the music and the colors. But this place is dark. I think it's meant to scare us."  
"What if you're wrong?"  
"You have another theory?"  
"You're asking me? Well, that's a first(firstfirstirst). I wouldn't think(thinkinkink) my opinion should matter(matterattertter) when you obviously know everything(thingthinging) already(readyreadyedy)."  
"Well, maybe the reason no one ever asks(asksaskssks) you is because you never(neverneverever) understand anything(thingthinging). Always asking why(whywhyy)..." He stops, covering his ears again. The echoes blend and seem to change into a loud, rolling growl. "What's causing(causingcausingsing) this(thisthisis)?"  
Anya, grasping her ears once again "We are(areareare). Or should I say(saysayay) you are(areareare)."  
Xander glares at her "What(whatwhatat)? Why am I always(alwayswaysways) the one to blame(blameblameame) with you? Why is it never(nevereverever) you fault(faultfaultault)?"  
Anya yells back to him "Because you always(alwaysalwaysways) screw everything(thingthinging) up(upupup)."  
"Wait(waitwaitait)! I got it! It's the past(pastpastast)! Whenever we accuse(accuseaccuseuse) the other about the past(pastpastast), the echoes start(startstartart), and we can't hear each other(otherotherther)."  
"So how do we stop(stopstopop) it(ititit)?"  
"How do you feel(feelfeeleel)?"  
"What?"  
"Tell me how you feel(feelfeelel) right now. Don't mention the past(pastpastast), just right now(nownowow)!"  
"I hurt inside!" The echoes stop and they bring their arms back down away from their ears. They stand in silence, looking at one another.  
"Don't you?" Xander nods and tries to speak, but it comes out as a song.  
  
"My heart is hurting beyond words.  
The pain is tearing up my soul.  
These days have seen my spirit die  
My life propelled out of control"  
  
Anya: "My heart is hurting beyond words.  
The pain is tearing up my soul.  
My wounds lie naked to the world,  
my depth of suffering exposed.  
Because of you this happened(happenedappenedened)!  
Because of you my friend is dead(deaddeaded)! Her blood(bloodbloodod) is on your hands(handshandsands)!"  
  
Xander: "It's you who should feel guilty(guiltyguiltyilty)! Because you could not stay away from that vengeful(vengefulfulful) way of life."  
  
Anya: "If only you had never left me then."  
  
Xander: "If only you could be not so cold."  
  
Anya: "It's you who's to be blamed."  
  
Xander: "And you should be ashamed!"  
  
Anya: "This is your fault(faultfaultault)!"  
  
Xander: No(nonoo), it's yours(yoursyoursours)!  
  
Anya: "How could you(youyouyou)?!"  
  
Xander: "How(howhowow) could you(youyouyou)?!"  
  
Anya stops singing and screeches at Xander. "It's your(youryourour) fault(faultfaultault)!"   
Xander shouts back. "It's your(youryourour) fault(faultfaultault)!" They continue blaming each other and the echoing grows louder with each accusation.  
  
The echoes reach a high roar and the room starts begins to quake. The floor starts to shake, and the walls start to crumble. Pillars start to wobble and come crashing down all around them.   
  
Behind them, the center of the wheel explodes. Fire roars from the wheel and turns into a blazing portal of fire. Anya pushes Xander behind a fallen pillar as the portal grows larger. She crouches beside Xander at the edge of the stone. Streams of fire jet out from the center of the portal. A large tentacle-like arm of fire shoots out to grab Anya's ankle sticking out from behind the broken end of the pillar. It tries to drag her away, but she grabs hold of the pillar.  
  
"No! Xander, help!" She screams out as the stone breaks in her hand and the arm pulls her toward the portal.  
"Anya!" He yells and jumps up to try and save her.  
"No!" She strugles against the fire, but it does no good.  
"I'm coming!" He runs to catch to catch up with her and grasps her arms.  
"Pull, Xander!" Sweat starts to run down their palms as they get closer to the heat of the blaze.  
"Hold on, tight." Her hands start to slip from his as the fire pulls harder. The fire's arm jerks again and pulls her from Xander's grasp.  
  
Anya screams at Xander. "No! Don't let go! Don't let go! No! No, Xander! Help!" Xander grabs for her again and catches one hand. The fire gives a hard jerk and pulls them both through the fiery portal.


	7. Torment

They pass through the portal and the fire drops them down into a dark room. Anya lands first on a table. Xander, following close behind, lands on the ground beside it. Light slowly begins to illuminate everything in the room. Anya feels warm liquid seeping into her clothes and quickly climbs off the table. She looks down at her hands and sees they're coated with blood. Xander gets off the floor and looks at where Anya had landed. It's the pool table from the frat house covered in blood. "Oh God."  
Anya shakes her head at seeing the fraternity's game room painted in blood from the frat boys she had killed. "Blood. No. Not here." She drops her hands and clenches her fists. "I can't; I wont!"  
"Anya!"  
"No!"  
"Look, Anya, think. Everthing about this world has been a torment. We've been guided through it for a reason. Whatever happens, we have to go through it together."  
  
A window crashes open and a dark, hooded spirit flies through. It laughs at Anya and Xander, as it jets around them, before it begins singing.  
  
"It begins very small  
Seems like nothing much at all  
Just a germ, just a speck, just a grain  
but the seed has been sown  
and before you know it's grown  
It has spread through your life like a stain  
And it's power will strangle your love and joy  
and it's hunger consumes for it lives to destroy."  
  
More hooded figures enter through windows and doors around the room. Two of them grab Anya and chain her to the pool table. The other two, string Xander up from a deer head on the wall across from Anya.   
  
"Hate is the star, it becomes who you are  
Not the hated, but the hater  
has a torment that's greater  
It will eat you alive, consume you and spit you out  
Hate's gonna win that there's no doubt about  
Hate doesn't care who you are - Hate is the star!"  
  
"Hatred! Anya that's what we're fighting, hatred!" One of the hooded figures pulls a knife from it's cloak and stalks toward Anya. Another grabs a large mallet and stands before Xander.  
  
"Learning hate is an art, even people who are smart  
can be caught, can be crushed, can be creamed  
Hate has swallowed you whole  
Did you think you're in control?  
Hate you though, hate you spoke, hate you dreamed"  
  
The two cloaked figures remove their hoods and raise their weapons. Anya, as a demon, stares up at Xander with black eyes and an evil smirk as she aims her mallet at his legs. Xander, with pitch black eyes of his own, is poised over Anya with the knife directed at her heart.  
  
"All you hate gave me substance  
your lives are undone  
It's your eve of destruction, your hatred has won!"  
  
The evil clones prepare to strike. "NO!" Anya screams and everyone stops.  
"Anya?" Xander looks over at Anya. She stares back at Xander. Tears fall from her eyes and she begins to sing.  
"I never dreamed that we'd be distanced by a hate   
That all the trust we had would go."  
Xander: "How could I hurt you?"  
Anya: "How could it come to pass  
This awful twist of fate?"  
Xander: "I can't believe it."  
Anya: "I never dreamed that any barriers could rise."  
Xander: "Or that I'd ever see the stranger in your eyes."  
Anya: "Our hearts were hurting both the same."  
Xander: "The hurt was tearing up our souls."  
Anya: "The fury in us made us blind."  
Xander: "We could not see beyond the pain."  
Anya: "If we can turn again to love."  
Xander: "If we can heal these open wounds."  
Anya: "We'll leave this hatred far behind."  
Xander: "So not a trace of hate remains."  
  
Both: "We'll overcome our damaged past  
And we'll grow stronger side by side  
To stand together through the storms  
We're safe cause love will be our guide."  
  
The cloaked figures explode in a shower of light and smoke, one by one, except the hooded spirit still floating above them. The evil Anya and Xander are the last to go. The bonds holding the real Anya and Xander are broken and they rush to embrace each other. They break apart as their tormentor laughs at them flies swiftly back out the window.  
  
A/N: Okay, one more chapter and the madness will end; I promise. (arches eyebrow evily) Or do I? (que the creepy organ music in my head, which obviously you don't hear - Or do you?) 


	8. Forgive Me

Chapter Eight: Forgive Me

The light around them dims and they reach for each other.  
"What now?" Anya sighs.  
"I don't..." Xander stops.

A large set of doors ahead of them is opening, pouring soft golden light into the room. Xander takes Anya's hand and cautiously, they step closer. They breath a sigh of relief at seeing a beautiful grotto on the other side, separated from them by a calm, shimmering waterfall.

The figure of a woman stands on the other side as if she has been waiting for them. Shadowed by the rising sun at her back, they do not recognize her until she walks closer and extends her hand, motioning for them to come through the water.

"Tara! It's Tara." Xander takes a step closer to the waterfall then looks back to Anya. "It was her. That was her voice I heard when we got here." Xander smiles excitedly and nearly sprints for the water. "This is the way out. It's gotta be. She's here to lead us home." He reaches for Tara's outstretched hand and steps cleanly through. He looks over his shoulder to see that Anya isn't following him.

"Come on!" He holds his hand out to her.Anya walks up to the water and reaches to take Xander's hand on the other side. She recoils with a hiss when her hand touches the water. Confused, she looks at her hand then back to the water that burned her skin.

"Xander..?"  
"Ahaahaa! Haha ha!" They both turn at the sound of the vicious laughter to see their black robed tormentor come flying in above them. The hooded figure swoops around Anya and around the room.  
Xander yells to her "Anya, quick!"  
"I can't."  
"Of course you can."  
Realization dawns on Anya. She turns from Xander with a sorrowful look on her face. "It's no use, Xander." The spirit stops to float just a little ways away from her. He throws his hood back and laughs again. "It's Spike."  
"I told you that it wasn't vengeance."  
"You lied?" Xander glares up at the false Spike then turns back to Anya. "You said it was solace; that... You lied. We've never lied to each other! What...I can't even...!"

Anya:  
"Yes, I lied.  
I thought I could just get back at you  
Could bring back all my evil  
and be nothing but aloof  
That I could simply will it was the real untruth  
I was wrong  
and wore a mask to cover my deceit  
But underneath it all I couldn't keep away my doubt  
Now I'm left without a mask and one question left to ask  
I'm sorry, please help me, forgive me  
Don't hate me, don't leave me, forgive me  
Forgive me my debt as only you could  
Forgive me the hate,  
Replace evil with good  
Forgive me and find out that you  
Will be able to forgive yourself too.

Xander cuts in:  
My sweet Anya,  
I never told you that you were my sun  
I didn't know that day I could so have hurt you  
If I only knew, I'd have stayed by you  
I'm so sorry, I couldn't be the husband you deserved  
And I regret that I missed out on our first step, those two words  
that I never heard -now it seems absurd  
Can you forgive me?  
Open up your heart and let me in  
No matter if the fates against us turn  
There's one thing through all of this I've learned  
That what I need from you is to.. forgive me, I'm sorry, believe me  
Stop hating, stop hurting, forgive me  
Forgive how I've harmed you  
Please can we stop this blame  
Forgive, if not forget I know it's not too late  
Forgive me and you'll discover too you will be able to forgive yourself too.

Anya gives him a teary smile and nods.  
"NO!" They both look up at Spike's roar before he explodes in a cloud of smoke and sparks.  
Xander reaches back out to Anya under the water and grasps her hand. A little hesitant, she closes her eyes as he pulls her through and into his arms. They colapse to the ground in a fierce embrace.

Anya is the first to open her eyes. She pulls back a little to take a look around. They find themselves sitting on remote beach with the sun rising at their back. The grotto is gone and so is Tara.  
She smiles back at Xander pulling him to her for a quick, but intense kiss. "It's over; we're back."  
"Thank God; no more singing." Xander pauses and looks up and down the beach. "Um, An?"  
She looks at him questioningly.  
"You do realize we're in the middle of nowhere and have to hike it back home from here?"  
"Oh, but I was hoping, I mean we have this whole beach to ourselves an..."  
He pulls her in for a crushing kiss before she can finish leaving her breathless when it ends.  
"Well, no one said we had to leave right now."  
They laugh together as Xander rolls her down on her back and kisses her again. They smile lovingly as the tides lap around them, washing them clean of all past sins against one another.

FINITE

A/N: Alright, alright, before you pelt me with the rotten fruit that's been sittin in the back of your fridge (with a stench permiating every niche of your house so bad your friends don't even acknowledge you have a home anymore) that you've saved for just such an occasion -I'm sorry; I know this took waaaaay too long to finish and that I've just been a lazy sod for not doing it sooner, but, I mean, come on weren't you paying attention to the last song? "Stop hating, don't hurt me, forgive me."

As funny as the idea of this story was to me (especially Dawn as Joxer!) it wasn't easy trying to match up words in the songs to make them fit the original music; there were a few spots where I just got fed up and skipped 'em though. But for the most part I used the soundtrack from Bitter Suite to sing (in a desert area completely isolated miles away from civilization) my lyrics along with the music to see if it worked or not.

Okay, so now that you've stopped glaring at me and tossing up that fruit in a menacing fasion, well, most of you at any rate, I shall trudge off to see if I can actually get anywhere with my other story.


End file.
